From the recording SCRIBBLED DREAMZ
Lyrics
Born in a room full of voices,
but none of them are mine,
Mama said I’m special,
but that faded over time.
Teachers lookin’ past me
like I’m dust in the light,
Tryna raise my hand
but I disappear on sight.
Lunch table empty,
yeah I sat with my fear,
Only friend I ever had
was the man in the mirror.
Demons in my notebook
nobody bothered to read,
So I learned early on
how to swallow
all of my needs.
Hit thirteen,
thought the world
would finally see me,
But the halls got colder
and the whispers got
so greedy needy
Everybody had a clique,
I had shadows instead,
Walkin’ through the crowd
feelin’ spiritually dead.
Told myself “be strong,”
but the cracks kept showin’,
Heart heavy like a storm
and the rain kept pourin’.
Wanted someone just to say
“yo,
I’m glad that you’re here,”
But the silence hit harder
than the words
I ever feared.
Now I’m grown with a smile
that I fake on command,
Got family in the room
but they don’t understand.
Anxiety in my chest
like a fist made of ice,
Tryna breathe
but my cold thoughts
always
name their price.
"People say I’m loved,
but I feel like a ghost,
Standin’ right beside ’em
but I’m miles from close.
Got a crowd around my body
but my soul’s in the cold,
Still searchin’ for the warmth
that I lost years ago."
Invisible child,
lonely teen,
broken man,
Trying to find a place
where somebody understands.
Feelin’ lost in the noise,
tryna fight for control,
Surrounded by the world
but I’m alone in my soul.
I been whisperin’ my name into the dark,
hopin’ somebody answers,
hopin’ for a spark.
I been carryin’ these ghosts
like they’re part of my clothes,
but I’m learnin’ how to fold ’em,
how to let some go.
If you see me standin’ quiet,
don’t mistake it for peace,
I’m a work in progress,
tryna find my release.
I started talkin’ softer,
then I learned to speak loud,
Found a corner of the city
where I could stand proud.
People say I’m loved,
but I feel like a ghost,
Standin’ right beside ’em
but I’m miles from close.
Got a crowd around my body
but my soul’s in the cold,
Still searchin’ for the warmth
that I lost years ago.
Therapy and late nights,
scribblin’ out the pain,
Small wins on the calendar,
like drops after the rain.
Called an old friend back,
said
“I’m still here!
then I saw
the coffin
in the mirror !